Lean In

My husband I recently visited my father in Carlsbad, California, and on the last day of our visit, we went for a walk. We started on a sidewalk behind the famous Carlsbad Flower Fields and loved seeing the view of the ocean and the colorful ranunculus in bloom. We then set out to see if we could walk around the “block.” I figured we could make some left turns and end up where we started.

We hadn’t gotten far before it began to rain a bit. That was no big deal, I pulled my hoodie over my head. Then the rain intensified to a steady downpour. It was time to break out the umbrellas. There was a strong chilly wind and we had to hold to them tightly as we forged forward.

After a long brisk walk through the elements, I began to feel lightheaded. Why didn’t I bring a snack? Luckily, we soon arrived at an outlet mall where we bought watermelon juice and soft pretzels. Warm salty dough never tasted so good! Once we refueled, I looked at Google Maps, navigated a couple more left turns, and we arrived back at the car. Whew! I thanked my husband for going on another adventure with me.

This experience reminds me of the value of LEANING IN. So many times, when I encounter the wind and rain of challenges in life, I want to hole up and hunker down. I want to shut down and soldier through. Because life is scary. It’s overwhelming. I feel big emotions. I’m insecure. I think I’m failing. It goes against everything in me to lean into adversity instead of retreating to safety.

But if I retreat, I miss so much. Lately, I’ve been reading the book of James. It’s challenging that it starts with, “Consider it pure joy when you face trials of many kinds.” Yikes. To me, the trials usually feel like something’s going wrong. But this passage says that my trials will teach me perseverance and mature me.

So, when I feel discomfort, I’m trying to lean into it instead of shrinking back. And do you know what’s crazy? I actually feel less fear when I lean in. When I pull back, I cower with inner trembling as I anticipate the worst. The fear wins. But the fear loses ground when I march forward.

Leaning in is so powerful. It’s believing that God is good, that he will teach me something valuable, and that I’m capable of handling the challenge. It’s not giving into fear. It’s accepting that I will have trouble. It’s embracing the day. It’s truly living.

So I am going to keep on going with adventures with my husband. But I’m also challenging myself to go on adventures by facing down my trials. For me, this is so hard. Yet I know it pays off.

Who’s with me?

“But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved.” (Hebrews 10:39)